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|Thursday, October 10th, 2013|
|Wow, this profile pic.
Seriously out of date. This pic used to get me dates when I, you know, looked like that.
|Friday, April 29th, 2011|
So I think I'm quitting my job today. I was pretty much supposed to be there two hours ago. Meanwhiles, I thought I'd catch the world of LiveJournal up on the last, oh, I don't know, two years?
Of course, I bulletpoint. Because old habits die hard.
- I still live in New Orleans, which is a pretty fantastic city. In many ways, it's cooler than where you live; in many ways, it's not. But I would put money down on the fact that it's weirder. If you want to be weird in New Orleans, you would have to try really, really hard. I mean, wear a tie or something.
- The Los Angeles Lakers can suck my scrot.
- I have passed the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam and the Louisiana Bar Exam. Incidentally, Louisiana has the longest bar exam in the nation and the second highest failure rate in the nation (behind only California, which allows candidates to take the bar exam from schools that aren't A.B.A. accredited. I have only one more step before I can get sworn in. This, among other things, makes me mighty.
- The Onion's "afterbirthers" article? Still funny.
- Admit it, you've missed me.
- I've been spending most of my days slinging oysters at the Royal House Oyster Bar. It's been a year and a half run, but I'm pretty sure I'm getting fired tomorrow onaccounta that whole not-coming-in-to-work-or-even-calling thing. Some times, you've just got to buck up and sell the cherry orchard. I don't feel so bad about it -- slinging oysters is not what I came to New Orleans to do.
- How weird is it that Lebanon is the Middle Eastern country you never hear about in the news?
- Eliot had it right: I happen to, n point of fact, be a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of silent seas, and it's pretty rad.
- I'm seriously considering moving to Japan. But there's so much to do here.
So there's me in a nutshell. How're you?
|Monday, July 12th, 2010|
|Six bullets, plus bonus.
- Louisiana has a tradition called a boucherie, which -- don't let the wiktionary fool you -- actually means more than "butcher shop." Based upon the quality of the tourists this last week, I think we can officially refer to them as a "doucherie." People. Seriously. We are neither under water nor are we swimming in oil. Also, tip your waiters.
- I am presently two weeks away from the first day of the Louisiana bar exam (take two). I hadn't known this interesting factoid last time around = we apparently have the second-highest failure rate of bar exams in the nation, behind only California (which allows folks who didn't graduate non-accredited law schools to take their test). We remain the longest and least transferable bar exam in the nation, onaccounta that whole civil law thing. I am of several minds in terms of what I'll do if I pass or if I fail again. I am, at my core, an Okie, with all those Steinbeckian attachments, and there are times in life that, when the going gets tough, the tough get going to where the going's easier.
- This edition of febrile bulletpoints is not meant to provide a recap of how the last several whiles have gone.
- Except to say that they've been hot, and not always involved sleeping in places with air conditioning.
- I found myself, earlier today, unable to study because I was distracted by the thought that the universe is dancing. The molecules inside a cup of coffee are gyrating, pulsating. They flicker and frolick and fornicate at intense wavelengths. They are listening to The Sex Pistols, to Green Day. These molecules will bash their own skulls in as quickly as yours. Then, the ice cube -- the molecules involved, they dance a slow waltz. A box step. A drunken, sliding shuffle about the floor. Largo. Etta James. Yet, you throw the ice cube into the coffee, and the strangest thing happens -- the molecules want to dance together. The Brahms wants to dance with the Buzzcocks, the Metallica wants to dance with the Mendelssohn. The law of hydrostatic equilibrium is nothing more than an invitation by one party to dance with a different -- very different -- party, to dance.
- Considering the poetry of physics is a good, if occasionally bothersome, way to procrastinate studying for the bar exam. Aren't physics governed by laws, too?
- In conclusion, you're my ninja.
|Monday, May 10th, 2010|
|And, in prologue...
In retrospect, most of my exes were really kinda full of shit themselves, too.
So anyways, LiveJournal -- ye gods, how I've missed you! Such times we've had. I plan on making the most of this medium in the next several days to catch up on every fun thing going on in the land of Lockett. I honestly can use the reality check. That, and oil spills in the Gulf of Texaco, tornadoes in the "prairie states," and fun things to do with a law degree at $9/hour.
|Monday, April 12th, 2010|
|In my life, I've loved them all
The French Quarter Festival was this weekend -- lots of stages, lots of bands, lots of tourists, lots of drinking, and one firefight in which seven people were shot.
Walking to work, I heard a brass band playing a mighty tight version of "When the Saints Go Marchin' In," only to find that it was a middle school brass band as I was passing the stage.
Then, later, as I was on a break, I heard a jazz* band start in on a familiar chord structure. It was that old Lennon & McCartney chestnut "In My Life.' The band played the song faster, jazzier, a bit of a bop rhythm but not so far as to really make it swing -- just a little faster, a little lighter, a little easier.
Now "In My Life" has never been my favorite Beatles song. Heathen though it may perhaps make me, I've actually never really liked it all that much. But then the singer behind the piano hit the first quatrain:There are places I remember
In my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some are gone, and some remain....
And for the first time, perhaps, I got it. The song made sense in a way that was completely new and had been there all the time. It was The Perfect Thing these guys had found within it. It was easily the most remarkable version of the song I've ever heard. (And yes, that includes St. John of Liverpool and St. Johnny Cash.)
I understand people being tired of Katrina, now almost five years past. I can promise you, there's really no one in the world more tired of it than we are. These guys were able to find something within an old song, breathe life into it, and give it to anyone who wanted to listen. I smiled as I walked back into work.
* The word "Jazz" in New Orleans is kinda meaningless: "I saw someone playing jazz" is like going to an Italian restaurant and saying "I ate pasta," because we have all kinds. This was a four-piece set, piano, guitar, stand-up bass, trap kit.
|Tuesday, March 9th, 2010|
|Two poems by Hafiz
You Were Brave in that Holy War
You have done well
In the contest of madness.
You were brave in that holy war.
You have all the honorable wounds
Of one who has tried to find love
Where the Beautiful Bird
Does not drink.
May I speak to you
Like we are close
And locked away together?
Once I found a stray kitten
And I used to soak my fingers
In warm milk;
It came to think I was five mothers
On one hand.
Why not rest your tired body?
Lean back and close your eyes.
I will kneel by your side and feed you.
I will so gently
Spread open your mouth
And let you taste something of my
Sacred mind and life.
There is something wrong
With your ideas of
O, surely there is something wrong
With your ideas of
If you think
Our Beloved would not be so
Tender.Every child has known God
Has known God,
Not the God of names,
Not the God of don’ts,
Not the God who ever does
But the God who knows only four words.
And keeps repeating them, saying:
“Come Dance with Me,"
|Friday, February 26th, 2010|
I am totally going to marry the goalie for the Canadian women's hockey team.
|Wednesday, February 17th, 2010|
|Monday, January 25th, 2010|
|Wednesday, January 13th, 2010|
|Bullets of unemployment
- O, for a Muse of Bulletpoints! That would ascend the brightest heaven of procrastination!
- It occurs to me that my old days of Monday Morning bulletpoints really predated Facebook and Twitter. I just took 160-character bits of snark and threw a dozen or so of them together.
- Been a while. I've not been away from Livejournal as a part of th ever-increasing entropy towards Facebook or Twitter. The truth of the matter is that I've had very little to talk about that would justify more than 160 characters. The difficult thing about unemployment in modern America -- (not counting the bone-crushing poverty, homelessness, fear, depression, and all that rot) -- is boredom. There is really only so much time a body can spend reading the news, checking the employment sites, and playing internet poker. It requires a kind of self-hypnosis to keep from going mad. That hypnosis requires a bare minimum of self-reflection or thinking about circumstance. Hence, the decline in Livejournal posting. I do fully intend to say something more when I have something more to say, honest.
- I heard today that 40% of the unemployed have been so for two or more years. There are a lot of ways to interpret that statistic, of course. All I know is that a recruiter I called today told me point blank, "There is no way that I'm going to be able to place you because you have a J.D." (Yes, that's a direct quote.)
- Has anybody else seen the commercial where John Lennon's face is animatronically altered to make it appear as if he's telling you to donate to an organization to buy children laptops? I'm all for charities, but eeeeeeeeeww!!!
- Spam is rampant among the job-hunters #1: I replied to a Craigslist ad for an office manager at a law firm. I received an email back saying "That position is filled, but I have forwarded your resume to our marketing department, which has informed me that they have six slots available for a free trial of our new weight loss product...."
- Spam is rampant among the job hunters #2: I posted a resume on CareerBuilder.com, mostly because it once upon a time got me a job in Chicago. Most of the companies advertising there these days are of the "THIS NEW ORLEANS MOM MAKES $60,000 PER MONTH WORKING FROM HOME DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!" variety. My resume got me an email, however, from Colonial Life Insurance wanting to interview me as a manager making $120K per year. Sure enough, a bit of creative Googling led me to the website for the marketing company Via, which recently landed the Colonial Life contract, and proudly proclaims that "The online campaign targets people seeking a career with Colonial Life and will appear on Monster, CareerBuilder and Yahoo!"
- Spamming the job-hunters in this market is both stupid and cruel. We don't have any money, or else we wouldn't be job-hunting, and playing with people's hopes is just plain mean.
- Saturday's upcoming playoff game features the New Orleans Saints versus the Arizona Cardinals. I'm no Catholic or anything, but if I've got it right, Cardinals bow down and pray before Saints, not the other way around.
- My dying, held-together-with-spit-and-chicken-wire laptop has been fraying at the edges with iTunes and Firefox constantly requiring upgrade after upgrade that require more processor capacity. I've found that Google Chrome actually does help a lot.
- Whoever designs federal employment websites needs to have their jobs outsourced to India, where data fields actually work.
- I kinda miss George W. Bush being President of the United States. Reading the news isn't as much fun.
- In conclusion, Kermit Schweer.
|Tuesday, November 10th, 2009|
|Tuesday, October 6th, 2009|
|Wow. Just wow.
Check out this interactive picture
representing everyone who makes up the USA. Scroll over the pictures and see what happens!
Jesus, of course, created the United States and is the author of the Constitution. Everybody knows this. Current Mood: cynical
|Monday, October 5th, 2009|
|Two random television observations
Am I the only person who is still waiting for Dollhouse
to be any good? I keep watching almost as a reflexive habit because, well, it's Joss. But the thing is? It's not Joss. Joss shows don't make me want to say "Enh" after every episode.
Also, Warehouse 13
is like salt and vinegar potato chips for me. I don't think that I like salt and vinegar potato chips, but once I start eating them, I keep eating them until the bag is empty, leaving me to think that maybe I did like them all along.
|Saturday, October 3rd, 2009|
|Friday, October 2nd, 2009|
|A rare and welcome Nice Thing
In and amidst the devastation, destruction, and chaos that my summer of 2009 has been, a random nice thing occurred today.SCENE: febrile is working in the legal clinic. His cell phone rings -- oh,bloody hell, it's an 866 number. "What now?" he thinks to himself. He considers simply letting it go to voicemail, but decides to answer it.febrile
: Hello, this is febrile
.(There is a pause as the automated dialer recognizes that someone has picked up on the other end of the phone. Finally, WOMAN'S VOICE speaks on the other line:)WOMAN'S VOICE
: National Action Financial Services. Is Mr. febrile
: This is febrile
: Hello, Mr. febrile
, this is Miss Osborne from National Action Financial Services.febrile
: How do you do?WOMAN'S VOICE
: Fine, thank you. I'm calling about your Blockbuster account. Specifically the store at 5600 Tak... Totch... Tek... I don't even know how to pronounce that street.febrile
: Tchoupitoulas?WOMAN'S VOICE
: Sure. (Pause.)
Hrm. Hang on a sec. (Pause.)
Is that store closed?febrile
: Yeah, that location shut down a few months ago.WOMAN'S VOICE
: Oh. Okay, well it says here that you owe them $66, but for some reason it hadn't updated that the store had closed. I'll go ahead and close this account and clear it from your record.febrile
: Golly! Thanks, that's the easiest call I've had all day!WOMAN'S VOICE
: I do my best. Have a good one, now.FIN
(Now if only I could get the same phone call from Sallie Mae!) Current Mood: working
|Friday, September 18th, 2009|
|Saturday, September 5th, 2009|
Sigh. And as is the case with so many things I look forward to lately....
I've been waiting for today since January.
|Tuesday, September 1st, 2009|
|Saturday, August 29th, 2009|
|The weather will change your life. Twice. A missive from the Lower 9th Ward.
This morning, as they did four years ago, clouds hang over the Lower 9th Ward of New Orleans.
Unlike four years ago, the sounds one hears from the porch are not the wind and water of Katrina, but zydeco music playing from a community party, interspersed by the occasional bleat of a tuba as the second line players prepare for their procession. In just the two short weeks that I've been living down here in the Lower 9, I've seen houses spring up on lots faster than the weeds that they have replaced. The houses being built by Brad Pitt's Make It Right Foundation
are pretty remarkable: they are architecturally interesting, modular, elevated houses with solar panels built with reused or reusable equipment. Several are already occupied, and more are being built quickly.
For these past two weeks, I've been volunteering at the Common Ground Relief
legal aid clinic. We are the only free legal aid clinic operating in the Lower 9th Ward. (This neighborhood still does not have city bus service or even a grocery store.) Even four years later, the repercussions of Katrina still blow ill winds to many residents: some of our clients have been defrauded by shady contractors who promised to rebuild their home, then split with the money. Some of our clients are seeking legal assistance with landlords who make it a practice to never return security deposits, going as far as to break something in order to justify keeping it. One of our clients, a Vietnam veteran who recently had a stroke, is fighting with the City, which in 2006, after he had made substantial improvements to his house, decided that it was blighted anyway, and demolished it without giving him notice.
Common Ground is doing some good work down here.
Much of the news coverage that I've read about the anniversary has concerned everything that has been rebuilt since the day the levees failed. There has been a great deal achieved. In many respects, this city is standing on its own two feet, and that is in no small part due to the armies of volunteers who came, and still come, to pick up the mess left by a storm and a government. It is also a reflection of the spirit of the people who returned, who play zydeco at crawfish boils, and who know that while sadness is inevitable, misery is a choice.